I help people struggling with depression, anxiety and low self-esteem make the changes they need to feel better and live more happily. We often get stuck in patterns of thinking and behavior that interfere with enjoying our lives and making stronger connections with others.  Sometimes we turn to addictive behaviors to cope and self-medicate (sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling, you name it). Some of us always seem to end up in unhappy, unhealthy, or unfulfilling relationships and can’t figure out how to stop repeating these patterns. I’ll work with you to identify the ways you hold yourself back from living more happily and productively.  I always work collaboratively and transparently, openly sharing with you my thoughts about your situation and working together to find the best strategies to help. For some, that means a very “here and now” approach with an emphasis on changing current thought patterns and behaviors. For others, it may be more beneficial to take some time to explore the influences of the past as well. For most, it means some combination of the two as well as other approaches such as clinical hypnosis, meditation, and behavioral “homework” assignments. 

I work with both opposite sex and gay and lesbian couples. Many couples wait until the relationship has reached a crisis point before getting help. Other couples come to therapy for help in breaking up in a way that’s not destructive, especially when children are affected. Sometimes, it’s in the aftermath of an infidelity or after a long period of hostility or cold distance. My first task is to get an agreement by both partners on the goals for therapy.  I find that goals need to be specific and achievable or else therapy can become too vague and unfocused.  I also try to assess where people are at in terms of their motivation to stay together.  It is not always necessary for each partner to be equally motivated in order for therapy to help. If each person is at least motivated to try and willing to do the work, it is possible (though not easy, to be frank) to ease and replace negativity and hostility and transform the relationship into a healthy and emotionally satisfying partnership. 

I also welcome couples whose relationships are essentially healthy but stuck with a particular issue that professional help may be useful in helping to get to resolution or at least to a “agree to disagree” solution. Couples may also come in to improve their communication skills and deepen their emotional and romantic connection.